Online dating site etiquette
She has taken the time and is making the effort to look me in the eye and make sure I understand that she isn’t interested and to explain why. In nearly every way I can think of, this is upside-down, ass-backwards and inside-out from how I was brought up.
Or if you feel compelled to bring it up, say something like, “I’m not interested in meeting anyone else online. Trust us, she’s getting a boatload of uninspiring messages like “Hi, how are you?In “real life,” when someone approaches and asks you out, you’re obliged by social custom to reply. How can I be mean to someone who thinks I deserve that kind of effort?You may not be interested, but you can’t just pretend that the person isn’t standing there talking to you. So we have developed all manner of ways of saying no thanks, in what is hopefully the kindest way possible. And a couple times, women I have written to actually have replied with nice no thank you messages. And – here’s the odd part – a little uncomfortable.Busy week, other things to focus on – sometimes I forget I sent a note at all.But when she writes back, when she makes eye contact, then the rejection becomes personal and I have to think about it.Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile.
[pagebreak] INSECURE ONLINE DATERThe scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25 The problem..the solution: We get it.
’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.
Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.
By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?