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This first post discusses how to handle your first message.
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Of course, they have upgrade options as well, but the free site if pretty solid.
One recommendation - set up a separate email account where you're not worried about getting spam.
Totally free dating site that includes adult personals as well. This site has been around a long time and it has a huge database of users, so the selection is decent.
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They ask tons of questions, so they have interesting compatability rankings to see if the girl is a "friend" or "enemy." It's pretty innovative so the site is worth checking out.